So when it comes to sex, many of us sit on one of three sides: we think we know everything there is about sex, we don’t know everything and fumble about, and the third, we have questions, but are scared to ask.
I had the opportunity to sit with Liz Mallers, Professional Sexologist during an episode recorded for the podcast At the Roundtable. Her energy when you meet her is alive and filled with positivity, ready to answer not just the questions of our listeners, but our own prior to the show. And you can tell she has honed her listening skills to their max, because as we spoke, she was very attentive!
She attended undergraduate school at Indiana University with all intent to becoming a surgeon, but after taking a Human Sexuality course as an elective and in her words “completely fell in love with it.” She then furthered her studies a year after graduating to obtain her Master of Education in Human Sexuality Studies. Her focus on female sexual functioning and pleasure has proven vital when she conducts one on one consultation. But she also does sexuality workshops, bachelorette party events and trainings.
During the podcast, one follower asks: What about different libido levels? She notes, “You are likely not going to have the same libido level as your partner, so figure out why your level differs.” Let’s look at a heterosexual couple, man and wife. He’s working a lot; she’s taking care of the kids. There could be something going on at work that is tanking his libido levels..maybe he feels like he’s not taking care of his family. While the wife, her libido levels are higher, she’s feeling good about herself and wants some hanky panky! You have to figure out what really going on and causing the different libido levels.
Says Liz, “Be understanding of your partner. Communication is key!”
She also address the topic of masturbation…..”self-love (masturbation) is so important, she added. As RuPaul form the show RuPaual’s Drag Race said. “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” You’ve got to take care of yourself too!”
I asked her about her thoughts on sex today and how it influences our youth, via social media, the World Wide Web and other outside factors. It’s such an important topic, the kids are our future, she says. We gotta up our education, change the policies in schools. We have to empower and teach parents how to talk to their kids about sex. A lot of parents avoid the question or dance around it, or come up with names like “peepee” for a penis. A kid needs to know what things are so if it hurts down there they can tell it to a doctor what exactly hurts. As they age, we have a lot of puberty education, which I would tweak some things about that. We need to talk about it, as if you know kids are going to do it someday, but don’t shame them for having that curiosity, be real with them!
The podcast was amazing, and you can click here to listen to it in its entirety. To learn more about Liz Mallers, ask her questions, or set up an appointment or event, visit: https://lovelizsexology.com/