Submitting to Your King?

Peace Ladies and Gents and Happy April to you! Spring has sprung and I’m turnt all the way up all month because I’m an April Baby!!! 4/28, is something anyone who knows and loves me is absolutely sick of hearing, but hey, if we don’t celebrate our existence on this beautiful earth who will? Love yourself thoroughly, and the joy you create within can be shared with others freely. So Happy Birthday to me, I will be accepting gifts all year long.

But I digress.

I’m sure this month’s title caught a side eye or two, so lets jump right in and address the topic at hand. This has been an argument for the ages and I have heard seemingly every version, thought, opinion from men and women alike…let’s face it, that’s all that seems to be alike when it comes to the hot topic of submitting to your King. So I’ll pick off the easy ish first; if you do not conduct yourself as a KING, no woman should ever submit to you. Point Blank (capital P and B). What’s considered King-Like behavior you ask (probably didn’t, but I will pretend you did). To be a King, your must be benevolent, strong, a leader that can be commanding and composed. You should be a teacher that’s also willing to learn, who shows humility and so very much more. Every woman desires her very own set of character and personality traits for the king that’s destined to be hers, and I assuredly cannot list all of them here. This is a starting point to get us to the meat of it all….should a woman submit to you? Unfortunately, before I can proceed, I must also include the definition of submission.

Noun: submission– the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

Now, in the Bible, Ephesians 5:22 say for “Wives to submit to your husbands”. There’s more there- but the men always leave that last part out (I won’t). Ephesians 5:23 also adds “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” Here is where the argument usually follows from the ladies that Ephesians 25 states “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” It actually gets a lot deeper after that, but I will give pause for the cause for now. Being that this months issue, and the February issue champions the “Brothers”, I will do the same. Being the self proclaimed feminist that I am, I do believe a wife should submit to her husband. *Insert women rolling their eyes out of their heads here* I also believe a man should submit to his wife, although, ultimately he should be revered as the head of the home. Before you ladies get to bashing my views, let me delve a bit more into my reasoning. This isn’t for the common laws, the boyfriend and girlfriends or those simply shacking up. This is some real life marriage stuff that I believe in deeply. I’m not knocking your situation whatsoever, but my beliefs on submitting to someone you’re not bound to by the laws of marriage shift and differ greatly. So much so, that I believe you don’t owe them jack to submit to. That’s just me though. But for those of you who have committed yourself to your life partner, yes, submission is necessary and should be a given. When you view it as a loss to yourself you’re doing just that….losing. Submitting to the person you chose to be worthy of your love, your body your mind should be someone you want to give all of that to freely, without question. So why, for one second would you view being submissive as a negative? The very idea of giving all of the aforementioned things to someone else freely is a form of submission in itself. You have yielded yourself to another person. You’re already exposed. I’m in no way saying that power should ever be abused or taken advantage of. Nor does it warrant frivolous expectations of a slave-like spouse that grovels for acceptance or permission for anything. It’s giving the respect to ask for permission, or authorization even when you know you don’t need it. It’s the consideration given to your spouse when conducting the most mundane of tasks, its caring enough to lend a hand even when you are knocking at exhaustions door yourself. Reciprocation of these things are a must, but should not be expected. That is what submission means to me. I am the most outspoken, questioning and challenging person I know. This doesn’t mean I won’t or haven’t submitted to my husband. He’d argue I don’t…ever, but once the facts are presented to him, he’d surely concede, I in fact do submit. It’s an honor that should never once be taken lightly or for granted. It’s in fact a grand gesture in my book. For someone to be willing to give in so to speak to someone else, is endearing. The fact that it is an honor to receive, makes the giver one that should be regarded with the utmost of respect, never looked down upon. That’s an abuse of the position and relinquishes any authority.

Now men, if you are providing your woman with the tools she requires from her life partner, you typically can get the world from her. Not just financially, or sexually. Give our complexity much more credit than that. Women need multifaceted loving, from every possible angle. Think Neo in the Matrix. Not the character, but the movement he made when dodging the bullets. That’s about how much love, care, attention, personality and everything else we require to cover our wants and needs. For the women that receive that type of love and cannot reciprocate it, she has some learning and building to do in the relationship. If you want to be crowned as a King, your must carry yourself as such. Same goes for the ladies. It can be a beautiful give and take between two people who love each other enough to submit to the other. It should never be obligatory or negative. I could delve so much deeper on this subject as there are many different avenues and scenarios this conversation could take; but I’ll let you take the conversation from here. If he is worthy of the honor of becoming your husband, he is worthy of your unconditional love…and that’s my take on that. Love love!

 ~ Teka Rose

 Urban Tymes Contributing Writer

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